Mother
For as long as I remember, I wanted to be a parent. It didn’t take long to find out that I was born a barren woman. I couldn’t bear children, no matter how much I wished, but I wanted a child so badly. I would see mothers and fathers playing with their children in the park, and sometimes, it got to be too much for me. I had to leave. I’d make my way home and sob into my pillow. My current fiancée didn’t care for children much. He was actually rather happy that I couldn’t have one. It was less work for him to worry about. It was one less mouth to feed. It was more time with the love of his life since he didn’t have some "bawling brat" to get in the way. I kept quiet about this and would just find comfort in his warmth and attempts to soothe me. Oh, but I watched this woman. This woman’s belly was swollen with the promise of a child. This woman was so proud. She was all smiles. I found myself seething with envy. She had exactly what I wanted, and I hated her for it. For months on end, I would watch her walk by, grinning like a jackass. I wanted that baby. She looked like a vapid whore that couldn’t possibly take care of it. I hated her so much, but as I often did, I held my tongue, I held my words. I knew what I had to do. I began to stalk her. I would conveniently bump into her in stores. We began to talk to her. I put on my best smile and did my best to befriend her quickly. It was just as I expected. She was certainly dumb and too readily trusting. “Oh, Carolyn, who is this new friend of yours?” My fiancée asked me when I first got home after knowing Danielle for a while. “Oh, this is Danielle! Danielle, meet Matthew. We’re going to get married in March,” he reached out to shake her hand in greeting. I did my best to be kind, but sometimes, it was very hard to keep my silence and divert my attention from how much I hated her. She loved all of those things I couldn’t stand. She loved those damned Twilight books, live action Disney musicals, and worst of all, the current pop; garbage, all of it. I forced smiles at all she said and gave my best laughs whenever she said anything that was a pitiful attempt at a joke. I held on as long as I could, and oh, it was so hard for me. After weeks upon weeks of this, I couldn’t take it anymore. Matt was at work and Danielle came over for a visit. “Oh, I’m so tired,” she was pretty late into her pregnancy by now. “Then please, sit down! By all means, rest. It’ll be good for the baby,” I went to the kitchen to make some tea. It was something like a daily ritual at this point. I’d make her tea and just let her relax on the couch, only to catch myself eyeing her bulging belly. I heard that annoying laugh. Oh god, that laugh. I had to end it there. I was so tired of that laugh, and I wanted the baby so badly. I thought it was ready. I hoped it was ready. Danielle fell asleep. I had waited for so long for this. I didn’t want to wake her, but as I came close enough to draw the blade across her stomach, she woke. “Carrie?” Her wide blue eyes stared to me in horror as she saw the glint of a blade in my hand. She must’ve seen the look in my eyes. “C-carrie! NO!” I threw my hand over her mouth and sliced her stomach open without any second thoughts, blood poured out and cascaded across her yellow blouse and down onto her jeans. She bled out onto the couch. Does black leather stain? I heard her labored breathing, only listening to her last futile attempts to breathe as they slowly dwindled down to a death rattle. I dug around until I found the little bundle of joy that awaited my open arms. I slung Danielle’s body to the side of the room. It was a little boy; a precious little boy. I took him into my arms and rocked him back and forth. He didn’t move, but soon, soon… My heartbeat would awaken him. I laughed. Oh, I laughed and laughed. Why wouldn’t he wake up? Surely he knew how happy his new mommy was. I just stared to his tiny little face. He was covered in Danielle’s blood. That stupid bitch got what she deserved. Just then, I heard the doorknob turn. “Oh my God!” Matthew spat as soon as he opened the door, turning his head to catch sight of Danielle’s lifeless corpse. I turned to him, smiling widely. A rusty fluid was splattered all over my white sundress. “I'm so glad to see you, honey! Do you want to hold the baby?” Category:Mental Illness